People* Emotional* Exhausted

Emotionally exhausted.
Physically frustrated . . . wanting to move far away . . . but wanting to stay and clean up the "mess." LOL.
Black and white when colors cause too much stress. pissing off everyone around you and don't know who to call . . . not on yourself cause someone tells you you don't know who you are anymore . . . just when I thought I was right and everyone else was wrong . . . I play the fool . . . when I thought it would all work itself out . . . melt the thin ice . . . it did not. It broke and it's split seconds before we fall through . . . you are right . . . by the way . . . and I enjoy your perspective on things there's always room for growth- progression. Thanks for reminding me that I have swallowed a big pill. Thinking this whole time that I have learned to make better decisions . . . but just now . . . . thanks to you . . . I realize that this is not entirely true. Push you away until the next cycle of big things starts to get better . . . and better and so better. That was a nasty, hot, unnerving feeling that had to be processed sooner or later. Glad to have faced it. Time to let go of it all and focus on what I am trying to do and not what I would be doing because of this or that person's influence . . . do you know how hard that seems to be lately? I feel bad. Just when I had learned to be nice to myself through all these current life changes . . . blam . . . more guilt . . . laying it on thick . . . . taking things very seriously and still selfish as all get out. He makes me ask 'what have I done?' Seeing the severity of the situation come to light makes me want to fucking vomit all the cold medicine right out of my stomach onto all of you assholes (self defensively.) Cool it. Damn . . . did I actually post this?