Sunday, January 25, 2009

Sign up for the 'Words for DeTOx class'


Been on a 10 day detox
beat boxing the toxins
out of my system
unlocked
and
moving

was on the phone with my sister
I miss her and her wisdom
is like a game of twister
let go of
Mr.
and kissed her

on the lemon kidney cleanse
been at the ashram, gosh darn
with new friends
lending
yoga mats
and bending that

woke up with nausea
nasya calling ya
can't breath
crawling ta
wipe on a sleeve
get a block for those knees

about done mirror
sample this
fun beer
don't miss
truth dear
get a whiff
of this here

self loxe
that's important
hate on yourself
like an orphan
or a damaged organ
mind retortin' . . .

like mom say's
you're all you've got
that's a lot
good lookin'
put that in a pot
you're cooking . . .







Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Thorns

This is the [being] on the bottom step that leads up to my [sanctuary]. Notice the fish in his belly.

I have experienced the good here
and inside myself
and I appreciate
even the thorns
that I have to constantly
step on
I want to manipulate the sound
and not each other
and who is to say that I am
not the sole proprietor
of the pain and paranoia
trying to figure it all out
could take this life time
A.J. gave a good point
about WHY
WHY does not matter
as much . . . .

Oh yes . . . DANDELIONS AND BUTTERFLIES X 3
Oh yes . . .
DANDELIONS AND BUTTERFLIES X 3
Oooo yeah . . .
DANDELIONS AND BUTTERFLIES X 3
Oh yes . . .
FARIES DANDELIONS & BUTTERFLIES X 3
Oh yes . . .
FARIES DANDELIONS & BUTTERFLIES X 3


going to cover myself in oil now.

http://www.lorascope.com
( : soon : )

Monday, January 19, 2009

Sweaty fingers/feathers




I loxe good country music!

Thanks for fishing out GREAT dad!

Cisco's busting out all the tricks . . .

I am on a wonderful journey . . .

sometimes . . .

I have to turn good country music up

real loud and sing along . . . .

I can't miss out on a beautifully balladed morning

with Cisco accompany . . .

I miss DAD.

I want to cry . . . I don't know why I hold it back . . . these are my very own tears.

I feel silly for sharing them with myself sometimes . . .

Don't you dare think that it is because of you . . . or you . . .

It's definitely always because of me.


I am detoxing and I have now broken into an emotionally
cold sweat . . . whooooo!

It is a good idea to try to see self destruction reverse itself . . .

Yes . . . but it was so much fun destroying something so beautiful. . . to . . . CRUSH . . . it's face.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Wheels over meals


Be positive be positive be positive. Fuck that. Be positive so people will run right over your ass.

what the fuck am I supposed to do when I am surrounded by
dumb 2 faced lying folks!
You've got friends and loxers . . . but the bottom line is folks
will take what they can get and ALWAYS assume that they know exactly
what is going on.

I am sick of feeling like the whole fucking world is out to get me . . .
especially when they get close.

My space is invaded because I allow it to be because I am too nice . . . I think.
I'm just damn sick of it.

I don't think I ever felt at home here . . . to many bosses . . .
. . . fuck that. Not any more.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Going . . . going . . . *one



Been a while
got lost in a smile
I guess or lost buried in
his chest . . .
have I lied to myself this time
pretending like I'm blind
from behind and its all ok
she's way too kind. . .

seek
SEEK
seek
SEEK
FIND
find
f i n d
FIND
FOUND
F O U N D

F O N D

of you
so what do I do
write a play in the additional moments in the day
about the woods and trees that sway
and don't get it twisted that my family is few
or far between on where they stay
or say
I can sic em'
on you
so what do you do
learn how to loxe me fast
soon before
I'm
passed
out
in the front yard from
relationship exhaustion
how much it costs em'
& lost fun

Too good to feel good to be true . . .

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
"I miss you too."

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I admit * IDK



trying to go blond
some like to abscond
went out the other night 7 vodkas and a sprite
hit one by the stage then this beat dropped
sitting next to a guy who popped no questions
pulled out the cell phone and started suggesting
do this or that but it may not be the best thing or rap
that was the name of the last track
try to stay in touch with friends but der day go crazy again
managing time no time for my rhymes
what a dirty crime that you gotta
grow up and commit to
working for someone else
ain't SHIT
but SHIT . . .

Friday, January 9, 2009

Quickie


On the road again . . .
I need a copy of that song . . .
I have been in routine
waking every morning at 6 or 630
getting up
cooking breakfast
on a propane stove . . .
mostly squash . . .
getting dressed to impress a ghost or two.
Flip on the news and it depresses . . .
if that energy is kept going out there
then yes you will experience such a great loss
and you will not have anything to cling to
not even control
not even the folks you have resentment for and
it pops in and out of the mind so freely . . .
is is too bad and too short
letting these ameture feelings
intimidate you and keep you from the real reason(s)
is it possible that you feel the same?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

*N *A *S *H



NASHville
What an interesting little place . . .
not really little .. . just spread out
the Broken Spoke Saloon . . . hmmmm . . .
I wonder what type of wagon handlers this place harbors . . .
My mind got sharp.
Started with a lady and a harp . . .
The maids even put my guitar away in it's case. . .
I'm on the washcloth . . .
Get it right bro'! Then again you will never know -
And I am the one who will have to ponder how that will be alright with me one day.
I want to thank Anna for showing me around and being a great
guide. You don't meet many great or even good guides -
mostly when you look in the mirror and hopefully you don't say what I just said when you see yourself.
Did I say guides? I meant to say guys . . .

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Busted Lightbulbs



Can't get you outta there can I?
Last night we are sitting at a dinner, or breakfast, or lunch . . . .

(please go to mall flash back shopping for boots the ones with the 1/4 leg length and brown going into a tacky made in china accessory shop with misc. items on tables . . )

the cashier with long curly Mediterranean hair says man its hot in here . . . and I look down at the fan to check the blowing air temperature . . and say . . "it's blowing hot air" then I start to wonder why. I walked by many stores trying n various different types of boot to go with my dress for (some party or ball) I look down at my watch and realize that it is 5:55 and the party is at 6:00. Why the hell did I shop this long? Tried to hustle to get out . . . there was no fashionably late . . . or was there?

Earlier we were all at moms house . . . we seemed to be Lauren, Yeroc, and some other folks . . we were hanging in Aunt Margret's old bed room, as my old bedroom, I don't know how to classify this room .. . it seems like I was rolling around in the bed with Yeroc, playing 'I'm better than you' tug-o-war . . . . all of the group ended up outside . . . (this was typical for a 1997-1998 gathering at the house) . . . .

Flash back to the cafe . . . Myself and two older ladies that Yeroc had been running game on were sitting at a table talking about my relationship exit strategy. They admitted that they wanted him and desired such a Citohcysp xes cainam profiler and emotional abuser cause at their age all they needed was sex and didn't give a damn about all the rest . . . where as I on the other hand could not deal with such. So this may be one of the ladies opportunities to hook up with him since we are officially on the out . . . and I know which lady it is. It's the one sitting directly across the table from me . . . blue suit, red lipstick, pearls, peppered below shoulder length hair -although the one to the left would not mind 'hitting that' either. These ladies are in their 50's. So the ladies get up to walk behind our table, behind me, to some vortex or chakra behind. Not to my surprise Yeroc is sitting at a table adjacent to ours. I can see him better now that the ladies had gotten up to mingle. He looks me dead in the face for about 5 seconds then makes some kind of carnivorous sexual grunting noise and slowly pushes his chair back to allow his tall ass enough room to get up and go over to the ladies and run game one them. "Huh! The nerve I thought. " I thought. There was a little bit of "How could he" mixed up in there also. So soon. After all- I am still dreaming about him, but not in that light. So . . . somehow the ladies resist and the three of us end up walking to a factory where I am soon to be employed . . . She crushes old light bulbs for a living. A strange guillotine type contraption . . . long cylindrical fluorescent tubes that were saved from WWI or II. One would place the bulb in the seating flip a switch and put some elbow grease into pulling down the lever . . . and when you released it with force . . . it made a clean cut and the bulb was cut in half. I don't think I did it right. I snuck up to this level to try it out with no training, before anyone was looking. Then the two ladies came up and made no mention of my mistake. We did however proceed to talk about how amazingly fine Yeroc was/is . . . I told them that he and I were through and there was an awkward silence and I could almost see the giddiness in these women rise as they might have a chance to 'hit that' now but then that energy ceased and they were very motherly and sympathetic about my situation . . .