Direction

Signs pointing at the door inside of a door
What's he playing in there
Sounds so good
Lure me with eggs
Make your rounds
At the local B A R
Switch the broken record
Write a song instead
Any comparison to ME
and to the last
pictures of kittens
purring
Are nice to receive

Natural Living

Natural living . . .

I.

Behind closed doors.
He brings the monkey wrench
and the fact that I spotted it caused the reaction.
An argument in front of too many peers . . .
A price that is not high enough to pay . . . for mistakes . . .
Loxers that don't follow the thread . . .
BUT . . . ALAS
There is good . . .
Musicians and egos the ID
ME being displaced by a natural feeling to LASH out . . .
Old bonds that have been broken-
and reformed
phones that have been locked away in a deposit box
Mothers that forget to take medicines
Engineers that don't hold up their end of the deal
Rainbows that fall upon something other that gold
Percentages that don't get worked into the equation
Mathematicians that can't draw pictures BUT
still seem to color inside the . . .
. . . . L I N E S . . .
creativity spawned by lessons and cigarette smoking friends
that will Q U I T and whom you always will loxe with the deepest intensity
People that believe in your ART and pull the plug right out from underneath the rug from which you stand . . .
Secret poems of love and admiration that get misunderstood and returned to you by the U.S. mail . . .
Therapists that you have a hard time connecting with but . . . pretend to anyway beacuse they are the only ones not tangled up in the knot or the NOT!
Broken hearts and guitars mended . . . but still . . . express the damage once given . . . .
Online magazines that want you to write about a scene that fluctuates personal hate for pennies . . . . PENNIES!!!!!!!!!!
How about NO MORE PENNIES . . . .
I do it because I am free . . .
One teaches one how to do things . . . . no matter how much hell i have to raise . . . LATELY . . . . It seems to be for the benefit of one.
Bullshit fucking emails . . . Who does not have 1,000,000 of them . . . If I had a dollar for all of them . . . well you know . . . I'd be . . . buried in cash?
Stinky green federal c-note cash. I Wish?

II.

What is one more beer going to do to the equation? One MORE bubbly beer?
AM I NEW enough to stop ********?
Hardy har har!
This is my escape. I can't stop thinking of ways to travel.
New ways to play guitar . . .
Inventions to succeed the inventor . . .
The magician . . . the jeptor . . . the spectator.
destroying all of my life bonds seems natural . . . in a strange way . . .
BUILDING new . . . lots of new . . . . shorter ones . . . is that possible?
Why would you need a reason to care . . .this is ONE.
I need to give you a reason to care.
Bullshit.
I shall cut the cord.
SO what if I don't know how to hold on to these MEANINGLESS relationships.?!
They mean not much if it is that easy to not care.
I ENVY sweet Monica.
I hate the fact that I compromised a very natural feeling. . .
AND #1's culture. . .
This is ME
and that is A L L . . . MOSt . . . Everything
In a nutshell . . .
SMALL
Digression


Guitar under a duck blanket on a swing . . . with a flute.
I think that is all for tonight.
FUck Facebook too.

hturt

Avoidance of the truth
Say one thing do another
What responsibility do you choose?
I'm a rusty advocate for Grey
Spelled 3 different ways
Pioneer of self loxe
*make it public
Who would want to know?
Tries very hard to make
it survive - but once
it stops trying
-and this is odd-
something starts to work-
Apologies count for something
What is the truth
and why does it change so often
Riddles
How long can I think about it?
No one should have to say sorry that much-
A L C O H O L
is burning a hole in the culture
favorite words for this are changing
only blame myself - if any-
allow things to happen in a pattern
pretty or not-
A L C O H O L
the kind one drinks
to forget
to lighten
to numb
the discomfort
to enlighten?
Don't forget to keep your word-
and shirt close by
say one- do another.

Cross Pollination

The voice is TOO much to bear
influencing.
To see what life put before one IS zero and an act of Magick of course . . .
Spell it like you want . . .
Call it like you see it . . .
No one else can see as clearly as you, my loxe.

Block the numbers from your phone, this is a dated entry.
The elite don't use phones . . .
Words on blogs like these are classic messages . . .
If the systems crash . . .
I will be sad that I did not save and print . . .

My attention for you has grown beyond the ART of lOracle Fire.
This requires much attention . . .
I can feel it fading away . . .
This feeling is disposable . . .

Like a 24 pack of Scott bathroom tissue . . .
or Kroger brand . . . it was cheap anyway.
Not a good feeling . . . but glad I recognized.
and I better . . . recognize . . .

Silly . . . how does it grow without communication
How does it survive?
You may never see this.
You may . . .

Place me above
the anxious head crashing feeling
that it will all come down . . . hard, fast . . .
How did I manage to step in this -

This seems to destroy the plans previous
there were none . . . hahaha . . . I almost forgot . . .
about loxe
thank you for teaching me about self-loxe.

If you were my mirror . . . I would take 7 years
BAD LUCK over feeling over dressed for the occasion.
there has to be SOMETHING I see in a million little silvery shards . . .
I don't really want to clean that shit up.

pennies

Let's not sugar coat
melt in the rain

This is posted publicly so I promise not to show the private pictures from my phone. How many different instruments can one play in a week? Well if all the world is a drum kit - then one should not be counting. Where does the paranoia come from? You would hate to doubt your gut. . . what kind of self reliance is that?

Harassed by a West End police officer at the Lee street Marta station . . . for pulling into the 'buses only' slot in the concrete. This dude wanted to take action. Taking the abuse, I drove off into the moonlight. Sounds nice doesn't it? "You saw the sign, acknowledged the sign, and ignored the sign! How would you like to spend time behind walls with your fellow citizens?" PPPfffuuut. LAME. There are multiple ways to enter a Marta station. Does not matter if you know where you are going or not. "I could probably come up with some other things you did wrong." PPPfffuuut. You don't want to feel the heat from my 9. Or 10 for that matter.

We are tight knit around here. Realize with whom you are fu**ing.

Familial stress never tasted so good. I have some how managed to loose rapport with all of my family members, for one reason or another. None of it seems real anymore. We are here around each other because we happened to share caregivers. Or parents.

Who told me "You are not your parents?" I think it was . . . well . . . I am not saying names. Live in the present. Talk about what you will with whomever necessary. Lots of whom's here. Folks like to sleep on whats real . . . including loxers . . . yes loxers.

Loxing Under Cover-

This means that you are in the cipher most def, but unsure about the broadcast. Make sure you don't mix personal relationships too well with business, or the internet; you never know who will be paying attention. Who will slander your identity . . . scorned and embarrassed. I will not post on the wall . . . or leave comments . . . no one is to know about the nature of our beast. The monsters you create should be private . . . you know that once the masses find out about a true loxe that you have or share with another - the nastier the knot will be to untangle in the end. Nothing good lasts forever and nothing bad lasts forever . . . so tell me . . . which is this? The impression crept upon me like an unsuspecting neighbor with children around the same age. Who's ball is it? Who pilfered the sack of sand box toys? We will be sure to bring it up at the neighborhood association meeting. Very strange - very very very strange.

I don't have the urge to reproduce (would it be nice) . . . or complicate myself in the light of another. I don't have to conform to Christianity or social norms, or get married - because the previous generations did. If I did not have the model before hand, would I still want to live a traditional life? Telling me how to conduct myself in the presence of another- or how to react and correspond with god . . . is over the top. Survival is basic. I need ME. I need ME. I hope my "biological clock" is a myth . . . I DO NOT ever want to feel that burden as a woman.

If you ever get confused . . . take a deep breath, 4 in, 4 hold it in, 4 out, 4 hold it out, 4 in . . . it is not what it seems. You will see the confusion fade. This is a personal reminder.

Can't go into much more. Enjoy the warm months and stay away from the oil in the gulf. The Hopi said this would happen.